My hand turned me down
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
