the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
