he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We are all done wearing pants today
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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