they need to just BURY HIM!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
