This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
