Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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