It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
