Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize