Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
