I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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