He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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