break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
