Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
