I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize