Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
