Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
