If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
