WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
