Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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