I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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