he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
