A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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