Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
