There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
