Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
