Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
