I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize