Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
