I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
