My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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