omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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