are you so shy because you have an std?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
