Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
