Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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