Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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