Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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