Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i love accidental penises.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
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