Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
