ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
