I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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