Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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