when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Damn victory sex feels great
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
