pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
