I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize