Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
