remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
