just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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