Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i just had sex bonerless
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
this beer tastes like vomit already
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
