Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
