We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
