Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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