had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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