We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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