i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
