I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she looked like the before picture.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
