i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
