your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
